Reflections: Twenty Years, Five Lessons In Love And Coaching
Coaching Culture with Ben HerringEpisode Notes
A 20-year anniversary felt like the right moment to unpack how love, family, and coaching actually work together in real life. I share five lessons that kept our marriage strong and made me a better pro rugby coach: trusting instinct, choosing adventure together, building a home that tells the truth kindly, parenting with intent, and staying fit to protect connection and clarity. It’s the honest version—fast decisions that paid off, moves across continents that stretched us, and late-night debriefs that turned into our best leadership practice.
We start with the story of proposing after just eighteen days and why listening to a strong gut signal can be powerful if you’re willing to back it up with commitment. From there, I talk about the years abroad—Japan, new languages, schools for the kids—and the resilience that grows when your partner turns uncertainty into momentum. The heartbeat of it all is feedback at home: a brave foil who calls you out, asks better questions, and helps you see the person on the other side of your decisions. That habit built our family culture as an environment for growth and made my coaching calmer and more humane.
Parenting four kids taught us to coach different personalities without slipping into nagging. We focused on intent, timing, tone, and the shared good. And we chose health as a daily promise, training together to stay present, confident, and sharp for each other and for the teams I lead. If you care about leadership, relationships, or the craft of coaching, these lessons are practical, lived-in, and ready to use. If the conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so others can find it.
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